It is no secret that divorce can be a huge mess; however, it doesn’t have to be this way if parents are willing to go about it in a professional-like manner. This is even more important when children involved. A child conflict divorce is one which parents should avoid at all costs.
The only person who wins in a divorce is the lawyers. Everyone else loses, but it is the children in a child conflict divorce who lose the most. Children are affected differently depending on their age level, but in general, here are some of the common ways in which children handle their parents’ divorce.
They express anger towards themselves, often feeling that they are to blame for the divorce
They become angry and act out, often misbehaving and rebelling in school, which could lead to harmful behavior down the road, such as drug abuse and sex
Some children develop abandonment issues which inhibit their ability to form trusting friendships, as well as intimate ones because they are always convinced that people will leave them
Some children actually change their behavior for the better, believing that it will help keep their parents together.
This is just a short list of symptoms children exhibit, but each age group varies a little bit in the amount of symptoms exhibited, as well as severity.
To help ease the intensity of child divorce conflict parents should take the following steps:
- Never use the children as a bargaining chip with their spouse
- Never discuss the particulars of the divorce with their children
- Reassure the children that the divorce has nothing to do with them
- Parents should not speak negatively about one another to the children
For further advice parents should visit the National Network for Childcare, HYPERLINK “http://www.nncc.org” www.nncc.org, for more information. Divorce can be a messy event all by itself, which is why parents need to take care to keep it from becoming a child conflict divorce. Always keep the welfare of your children first and foremost in your mind.
Resource:HYPERLINK “http://www.nncc.org/Parent/childview.html” http://www.nncc.org/Parent/childview.html