Too often people equate the word “discipline” with punishment when searching for the best behavior solution of teens, and even small children. Before beginning any discipline or punishment technique it is important that you know what they are, and how they work.
Discipline as a Behavior Solution
Discipline is not punishment. When incorporating discipline in your parenting it is crucial that you realize you are to encourage and teaching children how to behave while overcoming behavior problems. Here are some guidelines to implementing the proper discipline technique in your home.
- Set rules and expectations. Make sure that it is clear what will and will not be tolerated with clear boundaries defining the child’s role and the parents role in the home.
- Never “bend” the rules. By allowing things to pass you are completely cancelling out the reason for sticking with them in the first place. The truth is when an adult you are not allowed to bend the rules for any reason therefore children should be taught this from the beginning.
- Encourage good behavior with privileges. Instead of setting rules to that there are more consequences for the bad, set rules that offer more rewards for the good. For instance, do not tell your child they can not have friends spend the night if they are bad, instead say if they are good they will be rewarded with a sleep over.
Punishment as a Behavior Solution
Punishment is used to expel negative or bad behaviors through implementing consequences. When dishing out punishment there are several ways to ensure your behavior solution methods are effective, and not harmful to a child’s self esteem.
- Never demean a child for anything. Instead of telling them that they are bad or stupid, let them know that their decision was unacceptable and there will be consequences.
- Always follow bad decisions with proper consequences which are consistent and coincide with the action. While your parenting style will differ from others you must remain fair in dishing out reasonable consequences based on your values as a parent.
- Keep punishment age appropriate. It will never be a behavior solution if your child has no idea what they are being put through and for what reason. Chances are a 3 year old will not understand why they can not go outside and play because they did not clean their room the night before.
As you can see, the right behavior solution is through proper discipline and punishment which are two separate aspects of parenting. Remember that you are an individual person with morals, values, and reasons for your own parenting behavior solution. Try to take others advice and mix it with your own expectations to create a behavior solution that will work for you and your family.