You are all aware of the fact that we live in a competitive world; everything around us is turning into a competition. Parents are pressuring their children even more than they used to, I mean that is not something new, that is old news, but it’s a problem now more than ever. Children feel the pressure from their parents for academics, sports, social behavior and even their looks, and not all of the children can deal with that pressure, in fact, on most of them that pressure will reflect in a negative manner.
First you need to realize that children are not different than adults when it comes to pressure, they all feel it on the level as we do, in fact they feel it even harder. They are more emotionally fragile than the adults and the fact is that putting too much pressure on the most gifted and smartest child can break him and ruin that child completely. But, we do need to put in some pressure, so what is the difference between normal and healthy amount of pressure and overdoing it?
Let’s use an example to explain. According to John Hopkins University and the studies they made there are two types of pressure, external and internal. External pressure is the bad one, which is when parents pressure their children for results, meaning high test scores, great grades, winning in sports, and getting trophies. Those children feel a significant amount of pressure and are more likely to have consequences from that kind of pressure. Internal pressure can be considered as healthy pressure, which is when you focus on your child’s understanding of the material he or she is studying or simply trying to improve in something rather then showing constant high results. The fact is the studies that John Hopkins University made showed that children that were under internal pressure have the same results concerning academics, sports and everything else like the ones that were under external pressure, with one significant difference. The kids that were under internal pressure showed faster improvements in every aspect, learning, social development and confidence.
Now it may look that internal pressure is the way to go, but it’s not that simple. Parents need to emphasize both of the pressure types, but in a moderate amount in addition to academic support and guidance, the children will feel less pressured and the fact is they will show the results we all want for our children. Balancing is the hard part, but that is done not by yourself, you need to talk to your child and see his or hers point of view. Once you get their side and know their limits you should respect them, like we said in the beginning, overdoing things never leads to a good result. Perfect example of what we said is a child that is told that it’s more important to enjoy what he is doing rather than excelling at it will end up excelling at it, because if the child enjoys what he is doing he or she is bound to understand and master whatever he or she is doing.