Communicate with teens can be very hard, but the most important thing in raising teens id communication between parents and teenagers, which is why you need to work on your communication skills. An open and trusting communication with your teen is the most important thing in helping your teen deal with problems and avoiding negative behavior patterns.
We are here to guide our teens towards adulthood, our job is to teach them about responsibilities and decision making, an open communication will help you do that. An open communication between you and your child will help you come towards the healthy decision making.
The most common question is where to start; well you have to encourage communication, start communication with your teen as often as you can. Encourage your child to talk about himself, his interests, his wishes, his dreams, his problems and his fears. But once your child starts talking you need to listen without interrupting, in order to come up with a good advice we need to hear what our children have to say, we can’t help them on presumptions. Also, listening to our child will show him that he can talk to us in the time of trouble, which will open a door that many parents find closed.
Avoid asking things that can be given a yes or no answer. Ask them open-ended questions that address their feelings, what they did during the day, what they want to eat or what they plan on doing. Ask them questions that will engage a conversation from their side, that way they will feel like they brought up a certain issue, which will help you avoid the ever present feeling of parents pressuring their teens into talking.
One of the most difficult tasks for parents is to control their emotions while listening and talking to their teens. Teens can say some surprising things, and we need to keep our calm. Don’t respond with anger and start an argument, be calm and give your answer in a calm manner, which will increase the trust of your teen as well as make him aware that you are serious.
The last thing you need to do is give your child something to look forward to, don’t end the conversation with a negative feeling, make it a win-win situation for both sides. State your mind but with a positive advice that your teen may look forward to. I know it sounds hard, but just respect your teens point of view and tell him why he or she is wrong or right on that issue and why you feel that way.
So you see, it is not that hard to talk to your teens, but it takes some time for both sides to feel comfortable about this kind of communication.