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Teens and Lying

Antisocial behaviors, including aggression and lying, are some of the hardest to deal with when it comes to your children. It is a sad and overwhelming feeling to have to watch your child start to spiral downward, but you can watch for symptoms and catch it early. One of these symptoms is lying.

Teens and lying; there will come a time when you will catch your teen in a lie. It maybe about something small, like telling you they have no homework when they are actually behind in school, or it could be something as big as saying they are spending the night at friends and staying out all night. When a teen gets away with a small lie, they tend to move onto bigger lies, so it's important to not let them get away with even the first small lie. It's about setting boundaries and using discipline to educate your child as to what you will not put up with, and drawing clear expectations of their behavior.

It's harder than it looks. You found out, you talked to them, you feel hurt and betrayed, but you pass it off as a youthful indiscretion and let it pass. They promise not to do it again, but the consequences did not match the action, and therefore they will continue to test and push to see how far they can get. Your job is to set clear expectations with your teen about lying, and set clear consequences.

This is a natural part of youth development, seeing how much they can get away with. But constant lying can lead to bigger problems, such as petty theft. So stay strong, set clear boundaries, and let the discipline (notice the word used here is discipline and not punishment) fit the lie.
 



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lying              Reply to this Comment

my daugther is starting to lie and today it has taken it's toll. she is w/ her father this week (50/50 custody) and we have no communication which takes it's toll on both her and my son. her 13th birthday is on Thursday and I have planned a small suprise party for her w/ friends and family. now, I'm thinking of cancelling it due to her latest lie that I just caught. Would this be more harmful to her state or should I follow my rules to consequences?

Lying              Reply to this Comment
antonette wrote:
"my daugther is starting to lie and today it has taken it's toll. she is w/ her father this week (50/50 custody) and we have no communication which takes it's toll on both her and my son. her 13th birthday is on Thursday and I have planned a small suprise party for her w/ friends and family. now, I'm thinking of cancelling it due to her latest lie that I just caught. Would this be more harmful to her state or should I follow my rules to consequences? "

I think that major factor that you have to look at is how bad the lie was? When teens get things taken away from them that are most likely to fight back and get into even more trouble than the first time. Because she is only 13 i honestly think that you should not cancel it yes becoming a teen is something that she will have to learn eventually but...i really cant say anything else because i dont know the extent of the lie..i hope that helps

lying              Reply to this Comment

my son told me and his father that he was going to go and hang out with friends and he got a girl pragnet and i dont know what i am going to do to him. ground him or just yell at him

Teens and Lying              Reply to this Comment

My daughter stole $60.00 from her grandfathers dresser. When she was confronted about it she said that I gave her the $. She was with her dad (we are divorced) at the time. She spent the money buying Christmas presents for me and her stepdad. She was confroted abou the lye and she finally confessed and apologized to her grandfather. Later, come to find out, she asked her Grandmother to take her to the mall and she tried to by an "m" game. She told her grandmother that I wanted her to buy the game. Her grandmother did not let her buy the game and that is when she went Christmas shopping for myself and her stepdad. She still has not confessed this lye. I don't know what to do and how to discipline her.

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