Parenting Teens: Troubled Teens > Teens and Lying
 OR 
Parenting Teen Topics
Teen Health
Education
Other Teen Issues
Troubled Teens
Teen Suicide
Teen Violence
Teens and the Juvenile Justice System
Teens and Gangs
Adolescent Therapy
Struggling Teens
Boot Camps for Teens
Options for Troubled Teens
Teen Problems
Self-Abuse in Teenagers
Wilderness Programs for Teens
Residential Treatment Centers for Teens
Signs of Sexual Abuse
Brat Camps for Troubled Teens
Difficult Teens
Juvenile Delinquent
Troubled Teens
Runaway Teens
Teens and Lying
At-Risk Youth Programs
Recent Trends of Teen Violence
Teen Help Centers
Teen Drug Abuse
Tips for Parenting Teens
Teen Behavior
Parent Support Group Directory
Parent Forum
tags
Parenting Teens Blog
Youth Crisis Hotline
WAVE (Working Against Violence Everywhere)
Voices In Action
The Trevor HelpLine
Teen Runaway Hotline
Teen Helpline
Suicide Prevention – The Trevor HelpLine – (Specializing in gay and lesbian youth suicide prevention)
Suicide Hotline – (National Adolescent)
Suicide & Crisis Hotline
Stop It Now! (Sexual Abuse)

Teens and Lying

Antisocial behaviors, including aggression and lying, are some of the hardest to deal with when it comes to your children. It is a sad and overwhelming feeling to have to watch your child start to spiral downward, but you can watch for symptoms and catch it early. One of these symptoms is lying.

Teens and lying; there will come a time when you will catch your teen in a lie. It maybe about something small, like telling you they have no homework when they are actually behind in school, or it could be something as big as saying they are spending the night at friends and staying out all night. When a teen gets away with a small lie, they tend to move onto bigger lies, so it's important to not let them get away with even the first small lie. It's about setting boundaries and using discipline to educate your child as to what you will not put up with, and drawing clear expectations of their behavior.

It's harder than it looks. You found out, you talked to them, you feel hurt and betrayed, but you pass it off as a youthful indiscretion and let it pass. They promise not to do it again, but the consequences did not match the action, and therefore they will continue to test and push to see how far they can get. Your job is to set clear expectations with your teen about lying, and set clear consequences.

This is a natural part of youth development, seeing how much they can get away with. But constant lying can lead to bigger problems, such as petty theft. So stay strong, set clear boundaries, and let the discipline (notice the word used here is discipline and not punishment) fit the lie.
 



Reader Comments [+ Add Your Comment]
Records Per Page 20[Prev][Next] Page of 1


lying              Reply to this Comment

my daugther is starting to lie and today it has taken it's toll. she is w/ her father this week (50/50 custody) and we have no communication which takes it's toll on both her and my son. her 13th birthday is on Thursday and I have planned a small suprise party for her w/ friends and family. now, I'm thinking of cancelling it due to her latest lie that I just caught. Would this be more harmful to her state or should I follow my rules to consequences?

Lying              Reply to this Comment
antonette wrote:
"my daugther is starting to lie and today it has taken it's toll. she is w/ her father this week (50/50 custody) and we have no communication which takes it's toll on both her and my son. her 13th birthday is on Thursday and I have planned a small suprise party for her w/ friends and family. now, I'm thinking of cancelling it due to her latest lie that I just caught. Would this be more harmful to her state or should I follow my rules to consequences? "

I think that major factor that you have to look at is how bad the lie was? When teens get things taken away from them that are most likely to fight back and get into even more trouble than the first time. Because she is only 13 i honestly think that you should not cancel it yes becoming a teen is something that she will have to learn eventually but...i really cant say anything else because i dont know the extent of the lie..i hope that helps

lying              Reply to this Comment

my son told me and his father that he was going to go and hang out with friends and he got a girl pragnet and i dont know what i am going to do to him. ground him or just yell at him

Teens and Lying              Reply to this Comment

My daughter stole $60.00 from her grandfathers dresser. When she was confronted about it she said that I gave her the $. She was with her dad (we are divorced) at the time. She spent the money buying Christmas presents for me and her stepdad. She was confroted abou the lye and she finally confessed and apologized to her grandfather. Later, come to find out, she asked her Grandmother to take her to the mall and she tried to by an "m" game. She told her grandmother that I wanted her to buy the game. Her grandmother did not let her buy the game and that is when she went Christmas shopping for myself and her stepdad. She still has not confessed this lye. I don't know what to do and how to discipline her.

lying              Reply to this Comment
lakeh wrote:
"my son told me and his father that he was going to go and hang out with friends and he got a girl pragnet and i dont know what i am going to do to him. ground him or just yell at him"

There is no need to yell at your son or punish him now he has already punished himself. He needs to be held responsible for his actions by beginning to earn money to provide for his child. He can no longer hang out with his friends the way he used to because he now has a huge responsibility. He thought he was a man by fathering a child now he has to change his life to reflect his choices. Don't constantly throw it up in his face but begin helping him to transition into parenthood. Even if the mother is not going to keep the baby he needs to learn a valuable lesson from this. See that he takes parenting classes and classes that teach sexual responsibility and abstinence.

lying              Reply to this Comment

My daughter lied about eating chocolate bars and it was her friend who kind of ratted her out so I told her that she was souposed to make her own punishment and then I would ok it but I don't know what a good punishment is can you tell me?

t.l.c              Reply to this Comment
swimmermom wrote:
"My daughter lied about eating chocolate bars and it was her friend who kind of ratted her out so I told her that she was souposed to make her own punishment and then I would ok it but I don't know what a good punishment is can you tell me?"

hello everyone i may be younge but i can give good advice i have been trough behavioral problems and all i have been to jail but just ask me and i can help you and you also can call me at 1-620-688-0796 please call after 9 p.m!

lying teen              Reply to this Comment

My 13 yr old son defied me. He had football after school and danced instead after I told him he had to go to football. I understand He loves dance over football but, but it was the fact that he went behind my back. He has a Homecoming dance on Sat he has a date should I ground him from it? I grounded him from going to the homecoming football game friday night.

son lying              Reply to this Comment

My son is 17 and has been lying. It has been going on since he was little. I have tried everything. Asking what is going on, positive reinforcement, taking everything out of his room and making him earn it back, telling him I love him but there is no sense talking to him if all he is going to do is lie and not speaking to him, grounding him, yelling, spending more time with him. He lies even when there is no reason to lie! I am at a loss on how to help. suggestions?

17 year old son won't stop!              Reply to this Comment

I don't know what else to do... my 17 year old step son lies and lies. He tells small lies and big lies. The hard part is he sticks to his lies and won't give in until I show him proof of some sort. I'm starting to get really worried. Nothing works. Tough love, punishment, restriction..Nothing. We're going to counseling next week...

I feel the same way               Reply to this Comment
karlak1 wrote:
"My son is 17 and has been lying. It has been going on since he was little. I have tried everything. Asking what is going on, positive reinforcement, taking everything out of his room and making him earn it back, telling him I love him but there is no sense talking to him if all he is going to do is lie and not speaking to him, grounding him, yelling, spending more time with him. He lies even when there is no reason to lie! I am at a loss on how to help. suggestions? "

If you find something the helps please let me know!

help!!              Reply to this Comment

my son was diag. with adhd when he was 7 years old. now he is 13 we tried different meds and found one that helped him focus perfectly its called vyvance and his grades with getting better and was a totally different child. well lately his anxiety has gone really high and he started to steal things.. no reason to, he is def. not deprived of things. Well i can catch him or know he stole it and will not admit it.. i can tell him he was caught on camera and he will say its not him. i had a police officer question him in a store but we didnt find anything, stole a turtle from the neibor made him admit it and appologize, stole money twice from mother in law. stole from me multiple times. i dont know whats going on. his teacher has noticed a change in him and she thought its his age but then she noticed the mood changes. he says he blanks out when he does it and he knows its wrong but wont admit it because he doesnt want to get into trouble. when he does wrong i dont beat him or yell. i try to sit calmly and talk to him but still he wont ever admit it. when he does its hours or days later because i wont let up on it. i am so scared he will get into serious trouble with the law. i dont know if it is side affect from taking the vyvance or if its autism .. i am so confused and depressed. anyone with the same problem?? or am i alone in this? :(

ME TOO              Reply to this Comment
lovelygerl wrote:
"my son was diag. with adhd when he was 7 years old. now he is 13 we tried different meds and found one that helped him focus perfectly its called vyvance and his grades with getting better and was a totally different child. well lately his anxiety has gone really high and he started to steal things.. no reason to, he is def. not deprived of things. Well i can catch him or know he stole it and will not admit it.. i can tell him he was caught on camera and he will say its not him. i had a police officer question him in a store but we didnt find anything, stole a turtle from the neibor made him admit it and appologize, stole money twice from mother in law. stole from me multiple times. i dont know whats going on. his teacher has noticed a change in him and she thought its his age but then she noticed the mood changes. he says he blanks out when he does it and he knows its wrong but wont admit it because he doesnt want to get into trouble. when he does wrong i dont beat him or yell. i try to sit calmly and talk to him but still he wont ever admit it. when he does its hours or days later because i wont let up on it. i am so scared he will get into serious trouble with the law. i dont know if it is side affect from taking the vyvance or if its autism .. i am so confused and depressed. anyone with the same problem?? or am i alone in this? :("

My daughter is in a similar situation. We adopted her and her brother and sister. We have had them for about a year and a half. She has six foot walls all around her emotionally and will not let anyone else in. She has not had a lot of steeling, only once this year at school she stole string cheese in the lunch line, but she lies about everything, and she will not admit when she is wrong or has lied. What attracted me to your story is that is is 12 years old and is also on Vyvanse for ADHD. I never thought about the two being related, but it is definitely something I will be checking out. My husband and I are very frustrated. We have taken away everything she has, and I'm not sure what else to do as far as punishments. Believe me, you are NOT alone. Hang in there and I will pray for your family.

Lying Pre Teen              Reply to this Comment

I am also dealing with a 11 year old who has adhd. She seems to have a serious lying problem and it is generally about things that are so stupid and really she does not even need to lie about. I do not know what to do or where to begin to punish her. I am the step mom and her mother, father and I are trying to keep a united front regarding her punishment. But sometimes I feel like her mom may be covering for her. It is sad to see that there are others dealing with the same thing, but it makes me feel not so alone. Any advise on punishment? Her recent lie is a little more severe so they are escalating.

more than lying              Reply to this Comment

i have a step daughter which is 16. she accused and reported my husband ( her own dad ) to the police for sex assault. She lived with us for almost 2 months now, before she lived with her mom and step dad, she came to stay with us in every 2 weekends. When she lived at her mom she lied, sneak out a lot ( although they found out earlier but still did it ), she had sex since she was 14, used weed. And we found out that she sneak out again, but it was worst..not just that but at that night she wanted to have sex with her bestfriend which is a girl. And we found out she had sex chats with boys, took pictures of her naked and sent them to those boys. She used her laptop which was given by my husband at her 16th birthday and she never told her mom that she had it. And finally her mom sent her to live with us. My husband loved her so much, she wanted her to give her the best things in her life. We even planed things for her already for her future. He never did what she accused her. But i don't know why she acted like this. And we wish that her mom would have come to us first, talk about it...but she went straight to the police instead. Sad.

[+ Add Your Comment]


Site Sponsor

1-866-573-6566

1-866-573-6566

Theraputic Boarding Schools
Military Schools for Struggling Teens
Teen Boot Camp
Help for Troubled Teens
Parenting Poll   Discuss this poll


School and Treatment Loans!!!!
Special Loans for Struggling teens with payments as low as $899/month (For a limited time, loans have no fees!)
CALL TODAY: 1-866-573-6566 or Click Here


Boarding Schools      Boot Camps      Military Schools      Troubled Teens      Wilderness Programs

copywrite 2005 ParentingTeens.com All rights reserved.
adminlogin
$sdb-