When I grew up, I had breakfast in the morning, and then spent most of the rest of my days away from school playing outside with my siblings and other neighborhood kids. We took the occasional water or lunch break, but for the most part did not come home again until it was time to eat dinner. Not so today. Children have their own personal computers in their rooms. They are part of an international community of web communicators. They routinely 'talk' to people all over the world. And they have the skills to participate in complex and involved computer video games that you and I never dreamed of .

 

The video games I remember as a kid were pretty much limited to Pac-man and Tetris! These were sort of animated versions of other gaming activities that already existed. Not so today! Today, your children can, at the click of a mouse, access games which defy the imagination and may well cause considerable consternation in parents. They can also buy video games anywhere which are far more sophisticated than anything any of us have ever imagined would be available commercially.

 

Further, it has recently come to light that some of these games contain hidden features of which even the most conscientious parents were completely unaware, and which are patently inappropriate for their children. So how do you deal with teens and video games? Some parents believe that allowing their children unlimited computer access will provide them with needed skills to succeed at school and in the workplace. Like most every other blanket statement, this one has some truth and some problems. Your child needs to learn to interact with others to succeed in school and in the workplace. He is not doing that spending hours alone in his room. Your child DOES need to be completely comfortable with the on-line world. But that can be achieved in school computer time, and in the occasional home experience with a shared personal computer in a public part of the house.

 

Years ago, there was a movie about a young boy who had become so accomplished at computer games that he was recruited by those defending our planet to fight off invading alien craft. Fantasy is wonderful. But I�m betting your child will not be recruited to destroy alien craft. There is a limit to the usefulness of video games, and a considerable risk to the over-use of them. Your child�s time is better spent in learning computer programs that are used in the workplace. Away from the computer, your child is better served in learning how to interact, face to face, with others. So what if your teenager and his friends spend all their time in front of a computer screen, immersed in Video games.

 

What's the problem? I would say that the problem is balance. There is no problem with your teen being a computer expert. Frankly, I have many friends who rely on their kids for computer advice and expertise! What is a problem is when your teenager becomes so immersed in the Video Game world that he neglects other aspects of his healthy development. There is simply no substitute for face-to-face interaction. There is no substitute for working out issues with others. There is no substitute for learning about how others think. In short, there is no substitute for functioning in the real world. If you are the parent of a computer wizard, great! But make sure that wizard has the coping and interpersonal and problem-solving skills to succeed without a mouse or joy-stick in hand. You will not regret the decision to move your child toward a more well-rounded approach to his environment.

 

Kirsten A.

Savannah, GA

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my teen              Reply to this Comment I am going through a rough patch with my almost 16 yo. He is addicted to the internet adnhis PS3. Let me lay some groundwork first. My son has saved his money, an allowance, and over time has been able to buy himself things, like his PS3, then his netbook. My wife and i gave him kudos for the saving, but were a little leary of letting him get the items. As for his PS3, he plays nothing else except Modern Warfare. I told him long ago that he wasnt allowed to buy it, and yet he has one from a "friend" of his. With the internet, he is only on facebook and chatting instead of getting out and hanging out with them. He also has a cell phone which he began to abuse, so he lost his contract and pays for his own prepaid cards. The wife is so fed up with it that she has taken the internet out of the house completely. Now, i have told my son a couple of times that his mom and I really do like the kid that doesnt have access to those things (because he is regularly losing them for abusing them). He is so much more open and talkative. After a while, he's been doing ok, so he'll get it back. When i say after awhile, i mean after a few weeks. Each time i give him a discussion about getting out, instead of vegging in front of the screen, and each time, he just goes right back to his old ways. Pretty much at the end of my road with him. Not sure what else we can do.                By:  kemobiggus        Posted: Apr 21 2011

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