SkateboardingReply to this Comment
The idea of being cool is often important to a teen. Gaining the acceptance of their peers. A parent should know why their interests in something like this has sparked within them. Some children may have a real interest, while others start skateboarding due to wanting to gain acceptance with a cool crowd. A parent should be aware that the child may be going through some difficult growth and help them accept themselves and learn how to identify a friend from someone more interested in using their need to make themselves a bigger kid in the group. These years are dangerous and insecure kids may be willing to do more then just have fun and skateboard for this acceptance. Some skateboarding 'clicks' are all about being cool, running around together and getting into trouble. Skating where they are not allowed to is a good sign they are willing to break laws for their fun, including other more serious laws that protect them from dangerous choices they are not quite old enough to understand the consequences of. Allowing consequences to to felt or creating good consequences to bad behavior is a good solution. Being grounded is not a good consequence to bad behavior, the consequence should limit them like this punishment, but also promote growth and trust in their relationship with their parents, and if this isnt an option to to being too busy, finding after school programs would be good, especially ones that promote self awareness and discovery. I believe 12-step groups can be a good resource as well if they have made bad choices concerning drug use already. Some kids are harder to handle. It takes extremes measure to get through to them. If their friends are now more important to them then their relationship with their parents.. pause.. its not their fault.. the parent should understand they are going through difficult times. Do your best to be there when they need you, showing them the unconditional love they need to see to heal the feelings that have separated them from you. Be willing to show hard love as well, by that I mean dont make light of a bad choice to make sure they know they are loved... seek help in handling this and you'll find a solution. My brother is a good example of this and he ended up in juvenal hall for about 10 days near the end of highschool, his junior year I think. He had to go and spend all his time with our Dad after that. No more friends. He was put into a new school that promoted independent learning and everyday after school went to be with Dad and worked with him at his office. I think that was important over being with mom at home and watching TV. They bond they grew there has endured and grown and he went on to graduate at a four year college and is a wonderful person, mature, well balanced, supportive, giving, and recently married and paying for his first house. Kids do need the room to make mistakes if they become unable to listen or trust their parents as they grow into independent and thinking people and not just people running around after fad after cool thing to do. Like it says on this website, stopping what your doing and making time for the most important person in you life when he or she asks for it is important and something to practice as parents right NOW and all the time so that when the harder stuff comes around the trust they have that their parents are showing up for them in their lives is in good shape... they are reason you goto work everyday, the reason you have love in your life. Don't forget the gift they are to you.
Skateboarding Doesn't Always Keep Kids Out of TroubleReply to this Comment
This article really hit home. My two boys were big skateboarders. They skateboarded everywhere. The article talks about skateboarding where they are not allowed to, well, that's just what my boys and a group of their friends did. They skated at the local high school frequently and one day a boy in the group got the not so great idea to climb in a window and skate in the school. Once inside, he and another boy decided to trash the brand new office. Thankfully my boys ran out, but they were all caught days later and arrested just for being there. Parents if your kids are skaters, make sure they are skating at a skate park where they belong. I made the mistake of not inforcing this. Don't make the same one.
skatingReply to this Comment
skating is not the way to go if u want yur kids out of trouble let em ride bikes and smoke the reefer all day long.
420
decor8inmom wrote:
"This article really hit home. My two boys were big skateboarders. They skateboarded everywhere. The article talks about skateboarding where they are not allowed to, well, that's just what my boys and a group of their friends did. They skated at the local high school frequently and one day a boy in the group got the not so great idea to climb in a window and skate in the school. Once inside, he and another boy decided to trash the brand new office. Thankfully my boys ran out, but they were all caught days later and arrested just for being there. Parents if your kids are skaters, make sure they are skating at a skate park where they belong. I made the mistake of not inforcing this. Don't make the same one."
JohnFarmer wrote:
"The idea of being cool is often important to a teen. Gaining the acceptance of their peers. A parent should know why their interests in something like this has sparked within them. Some children may have a real interest, while others start skateboarding due to wanting to gain acceptance with a cool crowd. A parent should be aware that the child may be going through some difficult growth and help them accept themselves and learn how to identify a friend from someone more interested in using their need to make themselves a bigger kid in the group. These years are dangerous and insecure kids may be willing to do more then just have fun and skateboard for this acceptance. Some skateboarding 'clicks' are all about being cool, running around together and getting into trouble. Skating where they are not allowed to is a good sign they are willing to break laws for their fun, including other more serious laws that protect them from dangerous choices they are not quite old enough to understand the consequences of. Allowing consequences to to felt or creating good consequences to bad behavior is a good solution. Being grounded is not a good consequence to bad behavior, the consequence should limit them like this punishment, but also promote growth and trust in their relationship with their parents, and if this isnt an option to to being too busy, finding after school programs would be good, especially ones that promote self awareness and discovery. I believe 12-step groups can be a good resource as well if they have made bad choices concerning drug use already. Some kids are harder to handle. It takes extremes measure to get through to them. If their friends are now more important to them then their relationship with their parents.. pause.. its not their fault.. the parent should understand they are going through difficult times. Do your best to be there when they need you, showing them the unconditional love they need to see to heal the feelings that have separated them from you. Be willing to show hard love as well, by that I mean dont make light of a bad choice to make sure they know they are loved... seek help in handling this and you'll find a solution. My brother is a good example of this and he ended up in juvenal hall for about 10 days near the end of highschool, his junior year I think. He had to go and spend all his time with our Dad after that. No more friends. He was put into a new school that promoted independent learning and everyday after school went to be with Dad and worked with him at his office. I think that was important over being with mom at home and watching TV. They bond they grew there has endured and grown and he went on to graduate at a four year college and is a wonderful person, mature, well balanced, supportive, giving, and recently married and paying for his first house. Kids do need the room to make mistakes if they become unable to listen or trust their parents as they grow into independent and thinking people and not just people running around after fad after cool thing to do. Like it says on this website, stopping what your doing and making time for the most important person in you life when he or she asks for it is important and something to practice as parents right NOW and all the time so that when the harder stuff comes around the trust they have that their parents are showing up for them in their lives is in good shape... they are reason you goto work everyday, the reason you have love in your life. Don't forget the gift they are to you."
You may be overthinking this a bit. Are you saying skateboarding is a bad thing kids use to cope and parents should work harder to keep them away from it?
By: JohnFarmer Posted: Jul 12 2008