Being a Life Coach for your Teen.Reply to this Comment
A one size fits all approach to motivating teens is never successful. Like adults, teens have many faucets to their personality and what will and will not motivate them. Some kids do well with the fear of privileges being taken, others praise and encouragement etc. To really motivate a child you first need to find out what he/she feels motivated by. Does this teen feel validated by praise or money? Does he/she feel a sense of self pride when others notice what they do or is it enough to know they did the right thing? Teens today have a real need to feel respected; getting to know what makes them feel accomplished and successful and engaging them to assist the family in clearing defining what is expected from them by the family, school, society coupled with what they expect from themselves will motivate them to achieve. Assist them in setting future goals, most teens have no idea what they want for themselves. If they want to be the next big rap star...let them have that dream. Use it to show you believe in them and what they need to do today to get what they want in the future...in other words use that dream to motivate them....use it to help them realize that it takes goals, work, and achievement to get what they want in life... use it to assist them in drawing a life map for themselves. I believe too many parents judge and degrade their kids under the name of discipline. This doesn't work for adults and it will not work for kids. Set clear expectations with clear consistent consequences, coupled with recognition for positive behavior and when delivering consequences keep it light and empathetic. Instead of seeing yourself as a disciplinarian.... try looking at your role in your child life as his Life Coach.
Motivating TeensReply to this Comment
There is a lot to say about letting go of your teen within a safe boundary...you let them make some decisions and when they come back to you with a good or even a bad decision then you can calmly sit down and talk with them about the outcome. Always being in control or judgemental will only cause problems. Letting the teen take control of some of their life makes a big difference in letting them mature and grow up.
The silent killers of student successReply to this Comment
After 25 years of working with teens as a teacher, youth worker and motivational speaker I've found that the thing that stops most teens from succeeding and achieving has nothing to do with their IQ or their brain power.
I've identified 6 factors that I've called the 'silent killers of student success'. They often work together to create a whirlpool effect, dragging down teens' motivation, sense of self-worth and ultimately, their grades.
What are these 'killers'?
In summary they are-
1/Incorrect assumptions, particularly the belief that brains=success.
2/Memory of past failures - undermines their confidence and motivation.
3/Low expectations - their own and those of significant people in their lives like parents and teachers.
4/Negative self-talk.
5/Blaming others - this really means not taking responsibility for their own life and success.
6/Inability to change - or at least the belief that they can't change or that change is very difficult to achieve.
Separately or together these 'killers' can destroy student motivation. But, they can be overcome! And parents can certainly play a major part in helping their teens beat the silent killers and achieve their potential.
I'd love to talk more about this if people are interested! You can find out more about how to beat the silent killers at www.asktheteacher.com.au/better_grades_article.htm
3 Keys to Motivating TeensReply to this Comment
There are several factors that are key components in motivating teens. First is a relationship built on trust and unconditional love. Second, is believing in your teen. If you see them as successful, beautiful and full of potential, they'll know it, and they'll believe in themselves also. Third, your words have power. Speaking good things over them, blessing them with your words motivates them to fulfill their purpose in life. It's not easy parenting teens and knowing what to say or how to bring out the best in them. Family therapy may help as well as getting some parenting support and guidance.
jezbots wrote:
"After 25 years of working with teens as a teacher, youth worker and motivational speaker I've found that the thing that stops most teens from succeeding and achieving has nothing to do with their IQ or their brain power.
I've identified 6 factors that I've called the 'silent killers of student success'. They often work together to create a whirlpool effect, dragging down teens' motivation, sense of self-worth and ultimately, their grades.
What are these 'killers'?
In summary they are-
1/Incorrect assumptions, particularly the belief that brains=success.
2/Memory of past failures - undermines their confidence and motivation.
3/Low expectations - their own and those of significant people in their lives like parents and teachers.
4/Negative self-talk.
5/Blaming others - this really means not taking responsibility for their own life and success.
6/Inability to change - or at least the belief that they can't change or that change is very difficult to achieve.
Separately or together these 'killers' can destroy student motivation. But, they can be overcome! And parents can certainly play a major part in helping their teens beat the silent killers and achieve their potential.
I'd love to talk more about this if people are interested! You can find out more about how to beat the silent killers at www.asktheteacher.com.au/better_grades_article.htm"
I read your comment and I am very interested in obtaining more information about your insights. Our fourteen is really struggling and I recognize the silent killers but I am unsure how to turn around the negativity. I would appreciate any guidance you can provide.
jezbots wrote:
"After 25 years of working with teens as a teacher, youth worker and motivational speaker I've found that the thing that stops most teens from succeeding and achieving has nothing to do with their IQ or their brain power.
I've identified 6 factors that I've called the 'silent killers of student success'. They often work together to create a whirlpool effect, dragging down teens' motivation, sense of self-worth and ultimately, their grades.
What are these 'killers'?
In summary they are-
1/Incorrect assumptions, particularly the belief that brains=success.
2/Memory of past failures - undermines their confidence and motivation.
3/Low expectations - their own and those of significant people in their lives like parents and teachers.
4/Negative self-talk.
5/Blaming others - this really means not taking responsibility for their own life and success.
6/Inability to change - or at least the belief that they can't change or that change is very difficult to achieve.
Separately or together these 'killers' can destroy student motivation. But, they can be overcome! And parents can certainly play a major part in helping their teens beat the silent killers and achieve their potential.
I'd love to talk more about this if people are interested! You can find out more about how to beat the silent killers at www.asktheteacher.com.au/better_grades_article.htm"
I also have a 14 year old that is struggling. She is more interested in socializing and her grades are slipping. I would love some suggestions.
MotivationReply to this Comment
I recently started working as a Youth Development Specialist and a lot of my case load involves at risk students. The other day when I was talking with them I have found that the big problem is that they are not motivated to do their work, or fine with just "getting a passing grade". Any suggestions or ideas would be greatly appreciated!
Reader Comments 
By: TrishS64 Posted: Jul 04 2009