Implementing Behavior Modification Therapy at Home

Behavior modification therapy can be defined differently depending on the youth center offering it.  Most will offer their own idea or distinctive program that has proven to work with teens needing behavior modification therapy.  Since these techniques have been chosen through trial and error there is no reason a parent could not try them on their own.  Keep in mind however that your child may not respond as well to you as they would to someone they have no previous relationship with. 

The most effective method of resetting a child’s behavior is allowing these teens into an environment in which their actions will either reward or punish them.  A popular youth boarding school called the Diamond Ranch Academy practices this to help teens learn that life is filled with rewards and consequences. It is their choices that will determine what you receive.  According to their online report this form of behavior modification therapy is capable of remolding the child for life.

What Do I Need to Know Before Starting Behavior Modification Therapy?
There are several things you must know before starting your own trial run of behavior modification therapy.  Be prepared for anything and don’t let up.  For you to have any impact on your child you must show them that you are in it 100% and will not let up.  While teenagers often whine that you are being too strict, or “overprotective” it is essential that you stick with it. 

Do not let them tell you “no”.  No matter what you have to do, within reason of course, make them follow your rules on your terms.  This will be the hardest part as they have become comfortable with you and think they can make you “give in”.  Whatever you do, let them know YOU are boss and they HAVE to listen.

Remember that since you are their parent you still hold the responsibility of showing them love.  Again, this will be hard to do because it can sometimes make them feel that the line has been smudged, giving them the upper-hand.   As long as there is open communication in the fact that you do love them, but they can not walk all over you there should be few problems.

Don’t forget to let go sometimes.  Behavior modification therapy is not about control so don’t make it all about a power struggle with your already confused teen.  While they must follow your rules, you must let them make mistakes along the way.  There is a difference in breaking the rules and making a bad decision. 
(For example: If you tell your 15 year old daughter that she can not go out and she sneaks through her window in the middle of the night, that is breaking the rules.  If you tell her that she can go out without laying down an exact time to be back and she walks in at 7am the next morning, this is a bad decision.  She knew it was not going to be a wise, but decided to push her boundaries to see if she could get her way.)


 

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Defiant teen              Reply to this Comment I am struggling with a 15 year old boy who doesn't seem to think the rules apply to him. I was never like this as a teen so this is new to me. He constantly pushes the envelope and I practically have to sit on him to make him stay home when he is grounded or he just walks off away from the house. He is using marijuana as well. He doesn't respect boundaries and frequently talks back. His father and I are divorced and in the middle of a custody dispute regarding him because his dad won a majority custody of him two years ago and he has gone downhill ever since. His Dad is an alcoholic and is blind to a lot of his sons problems and instead of trying to help him, just wants to blame me (typically alcoholic behavior). The custody evaluation won't be completed until mid June. Until then I am on pins and needles trying to make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble when he is with me and am reluctant to call the police when he stays out after curfew and doesn't come home because his Dad will use it against me saying that I can't handle him, even though he does the same thing at his Dads but his Dad is too drunk to notice....A mess I know.....I am so stressed out as a single parent with no family nearby to help or provide any assistance. My friend suggested alanon which I am considering so I can have a support group. Any advice besides sitting on him?                By:  marie3025        Posted: Apr 19 2008

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