Parenting - Childs Aggressive BehaviorReply to this Comment
Why? Because they are unable to compromise or reason, and by throwing teddy or other objects is much the same as throwing the tennis ball.
We as parents need to change this behavior as soon as possible by firstly talking to the child, explaining his aggressive behavior is a concern, and then explain to your child the acceptable behavior expected in the future.
Parents need to work together with the same rules and be consistent to enforce the guidelines, to ensure your child is on the way to appropriate behavior.
Note: If your child's aggressive behavior continues and seems to be controlling his daily play and is disruptive to friends, family members and yourself, seek a professional opinion and advice
Prevention Is The Cure!!!
Keeping a close eye on playtime with friends. Put a stop to any aggressive behavior that may be present in the playtime, so as the child is not learning to display the same behavior in the future.
Don't Be The Aggressive Role Model…!
The age-old expression of monkey see monkey do, comes into play here.
If our children see us hitting or throwing things around while we are angry, they then get the idea that this behavior is acceptable because mum and dad do it, so for our children to change, we the parents must also change and be the responsible roll model.
Explain Why Aggression Is Not Acceptable…
To help your child realise how hurtful aggressive behavior can be for both sides, the aggressor and the victim, and how that type of behavior hitting, kicking, biting or bulling can make the other child feel.
Other Ways To Solve The Problem…
When aggressive behavior begins, talk to your child let him know there is other ways to deal with this unacceptable behavior, such as asking for help, letting someone know the problem instead of getting angry.
Positive Rewards…
Praise your child when getting along with others, like playing fairly, taking turns or sharing, always be definite about what you're praising.
The more you praise your child with positive attention the more positive behavior will be repeated.
Keep It In The Past…
If you keep telling your child about their earlier incident doesn’t teach them acceptable behavior, because it then reminds the child how to be aggressive again.
Time Out…
If the aggressive behavior continues, further steps are needed and Time Out may be necessary, to reinforce your message with their behavior not being accepted.
What Not To Do…
There are two things to remember that you don't do: Firstly, don’t use aggression to stop aggression.
Hitting your child or any other physical contact with your child will only teach your him to do the same to others in the same way.
Secondly: don’t let off steam when your child does, getting angry with your child when he hits only proves he can use aggression to have power over you.
Article Author: Gen Wright
Article Source: Depositarticles.com
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madepersonal wrote:
"Why? Because they are unable to compromise or reason, and by throwing teddy or other objects is much the same as throwing the tennis ball.
We as parents need to change this behavior as soon as possible by firstly talking to the child, explaining his aggressive behavior is a concern, and then explain to your child the acceptable behavior expected in the future.
Parents need to work together with the same rules and be consistent to enforce the guidelines, to ensure your child is on the way to appropriate behavior.
Note: If your child's aggressive behavior continues and seems to be controlling his daily play and is disruptive to friends, family members and yourself, seek a professional opinion and advice
Prevention Is The Cure!!!
Keeping a close eye on playtime with friends. Put a stop to any aggressive behavior that may be present in the playtime, so as the child is not learning to display the same behavior in the future.
Don't Be The Aggressive Role Model…!
The age-old expression of monkey see monkey do, comes into play here.
If our children see us hitting or throwing things around while we are angry, they then get the idea that this behavior is acceptable because mum and dad do it, so for our children to change, we the parents must also change and be the responsible roll model.
Explain Why Aggression Is Not Acceptable…
To help your child realise how hurtful aggressive behavior can be for both sides, the aggressor and the victim, and how that type of behavior hitting, kicking, biting or bulling can make the other child feel.
Other Ways To Solve The Problem…
When aggressive behavior begins, talk to your child let him know there is other ways to deal with this unacceptable behavior, such as asking for help, letting someone know the problem instead of getting angry.
Positive Rewards…
Praise your child when getting along with others, like playing fairly, taking turns or sharing, always be definite about what you're praising.
The more you praise your child with positive attention the more positive behavior will be repeated.
Keep It In The Past…
If you keep telling your child about their earlier incident doesn’t teach them acceptable behavior, because it then reminds the child how to be aggressive again.
Time Out…
If the aggressive behavior continues, further steps are needed and Time Out may be necessary, to reinforce your message with their behavior not being accepted.
What Not To Do…
There are two things to remember that you don't do: Firstly, don’t use aggression to stop aggression.
Hitting your child or any other physical contact with your child will only teach your him to do the same to others in the same way.
Secondly: don’t let off steam when your child does, getting angry with your child when he hits only proves he can use aggression to have power over you.
Article Author: Gen Wright
Article Source: Depositarticles.com"
I could write a collection of articles about my son’s behavior at school. During the classes he would be playing and laughing, between classes, he would often fight.
The fact that he was playing during the class, did not disrupt his studying, he was able to play and listen simultaneously, but it would bother with his schoolmates. I would beg, try to persuade, explain why he should not behave like that, he would be calm for a while, but then continue as usual. I went to school willingly and by invitation, consulted educators, psychologists, teachers ...
The general opinion was that the work in the classroom could not fully animate him, so he filled rest of the time with games. Teachers, indeed, could not do much about it. In the classroom with 30 pupils with different abilities, classes had to be adjusted for the average, for very good and very bad pupils there was not time.
He did not talk much and was unable to verbally oppose the children’s disputes, so he faugh them. It was his way of resolving conflicts. Of course, a fight would only further complicate the situation and would involve parents and teachers. Even today I cannot understand why he was behaving like that, there was not any form of aggressiveness in our family, and the children were not physically punished, they were rarely punished in any ways.
I would explain him that any disagreement could not be resolved by fighting, would go again to school by invitation and voluntarily, but there was no change. I really felt helpless. Then he began to practice karate fights, he had several important results in competitions, and a few bruises and scratches on his face after the fight.
By the end of primary school he stopped fighting, but he still found it hard to tolerate insults and dirty words, that the children of that age usually say unaware of their meaning. At the second year of high school, there was a big change: he became insensitive to any insult and bad behavior against him, as if he was not concerned.
In my experience, disciplinary penalties have poor results. It is needed the cooperation of parents and teachers, many conversations with the child, even more patience to teach the child about acceptable limits of behavior, and that their behavior should not be a threat to anyone. As you might conclude, it takes a lot of time, too.
Free help for parentsReply to this Comment
Get my free 120-page e-book, "Ten Ways to Turn Around Your Teen." See it and other free e-books at http://www.heartlightministries.org/e-book-5.html.
Mark Gregston Host, Parenting Today's Teens
Widowed parent of teenagerReply to this Comment
I am hoping someone will have some experience of dealing with a teen who has lost a parent.
We were a very close loving family. My husband was diagnosed with cancer and after a hard battle lasting 18 months he died just a few weeks before our daughters 16th Birthday.
I struggled with loosing him, business comitments and also lost my Dad and business within 12 months of my husband. The business due to friends stealing from us.
My daughter focused on her 'boyfriend' and we became distant. She started to be verbally abusive and demanding. Her boyfriend has moved into our home and I have to keep them and clean up after them with no help. She is very hurtful and doesn't seem to want to try at anything in life.
I am at my wits end with how our relationship has gone and have no idea how to help her. She talks to my sister who then just gives me abuse.
I am in a relationship and my daughter likes my boyfriend. Talks to him and is open and friendly but is short, harsh and very difficult when I am around. She is now 19.
I love my daughter but am unable to relate to her. Everytime I think we are making headway it turns out she wanted something and turns on me again.
I suffer with depression, anxiety and other health problems like fibromyralgia and pernicious anemia which can make life a challenge for me.
Her room is a tip. Her washing pile is 15 bin bags and she will not take any responsibility for herself or her things despite me refusing to do these for her. It means my house is not a nice place to be and cleaning up feels like a waste of time.
Wits end with this one. There are just so many issues and no communication. She outright refuses to seek help or counselling.
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Reader Comments 
By: madepersonal Posted: Feb 08 2009