Decision to send to Group HomeReply to this Comment
I am the mother of a 15yr old boy who has given me more pain than happiness throughout the years. He is a teen now and is getting into gangs, smoking cigarrettes, marijuana, having sex and who know what else. I recently sent him to juvenile detention because he punched a hole in my wall and knocked down my bookshelve. I feel as if I am trapped in my own home. He is back home now, because the court could not find him a group home fast enough and I feel depressed and irritable again. He is back to his old ways. He brings people to my house and drinks and smokes. He is under house arrest but I feel like it is me who is under house arrest. I hate to feel this way because he is my son but he is so selfish. He said to me the other day that I ruined his summer by leaving him in juvenile detention and that what kind of family member am I to send her own son to the detention center and leave him there. Well, as cold as that may sound, I would do it again. I love my son but I enjoy him alot more when he is away from my house. He can actually be quite delightful to talk to. When he is here, he is a tyrant and a lazy young man who is self centered and inconsiderate. I am sending him to a group home soon and he doesn't know about it yet but I don't think that I am helping him learn that life is not going to be forgiving and accomodating to him with his selfish ways. Does anyone have any advice or anything to share with me. I am desperate!
basabey wrote:
"I am the mother of a 15yr old boy who has given me more pain than happiness throughout the years. He is a teen now and is getting into gangs, smoking cigarrettes, marijuana, having sex and who know what else. I recently sent him to juvenile detention because he punched a hole in my wall and knocked down my bookshelve. I feel as if I am trapped in my own home. He is back home now, because the court could not find him a group home fast enough and I feel depressed and irritable again. He is back to his old ways. He brings people to my house and drinks and smokes. He is under house arrest but I feel like it is me who is under house arrest. I hate to feel this way because he is my son but he is so selfish. He said to me the other day that I ruined his summer by leaving him in juvenile detention and that what kind of family member am I to send her own son to the detention center and leave him there. Well, as cold as that may sound, I would do it again. I love my son but I enjoy him alot more when he is away from my house. He can actually be quite delightful to talk to. When he is here, he is a tyrant and a lazy young man who is self centered and inconsiderate. I am sending him to a group home soon and he doesn't know about it yet but I don't think that I am helping him learn that life is not going to be forgiving and accomodating to him with his selfish ways. Does anyone have any advice or anything to share with me. I am desperate!"
I understand how you feel. I have a 15 yr old daughter with a big attitude problem. She doesn't drink or smoke, but her attitude is causing a lot of problems for our family. She can be the sweetest person and so careing and helpful but she will turn on me very fast. Then it's like living in a nightmare. I don't know who to talk to or where to get help. I have called the case worker with children and family services but my calls go unanswered. I need help, any suggestions you can share with me I will appreciate it very much. We are new to TN and I don't know where to go for help. She put a hole in the wall yesterday (Sunday) by throwing her cell phone. Called me a B**CH and using the F word like she is a grown woman. It breaks my heart and it upsets the whole family. We are very desperate!!!!
basabey wrote:
"I am the mother of a 15yr old boy who has given me more pain than happiness throughout the years. He is a teen now and is getting into gangs, smoking cigarrettes, marijuana, having sex and who know what else. I recently sent him to juvenile detention because he punched a hole in my wall and knocked down my bookshelve. I feel as if I am trapped in my own home. He is back home now, because the court could not find him a group home fast enough and I feel depressed and irritable again. He is back to his old ways. He brings people to my house and drinks and smokes. He is under house arrest but I feel like it is me who is under house arrest. I hate to feel this way because he is my son but he is so selfish. He said to me the other day that I ruined his summer by leaving him in juvenile detention and that what kind of family member am I to send her own son to the detention center and leave him there. Well, as cold as that may sound, I would do it again. I love my son but I enjoy him alot more when he is away from my house. He can actually be quite delightful to talk to. When he is here, he is a tyrant and a lazy young man who is self centered and inconsiderate. I am sending him to a group home soon and he doesn't know about it yet but I don't think that I am helping him learn that life is not going to be forgiving and accomodating to him with his selfish ways. Does anyone have any advice or anything to share with me. I am desperate!"
I understand how you feel. I have a 15 yr old daughter with a big attitude problem. She doesn't drink or smoke, but her attitude is causing a lot of problems for our family. She can be the sweetest person and so careing and helpful but she will turn on me very fast. Then it's like living in a nightmare. I don't know who to talk to or where to get help. I have called the case worker with children and family services but my calls go unanswered. I need help, any suggestions you can share with me I will appreciate it very much. We are new to TN and I don't know where to go for help. She put a hole in the wall yesterday (Sunday) by throwing her cell phone. Called me a B**CH and using the F word like she is a grown woman. It breaks my heart and it upsets the whole family. We are very desperate!!!!
basabey wrote:
"I am the mother of a 15yr old boy who has given me more pain than happiness throughout the years. He is a teen now and is getting into gangs, smoking cigarrettes, marijuana, having sex and who know what else. I recently sent him to juvenile detention because he punched a hole in my wall and knocked down my bookshelve. I feel as if I am trapped in my own home. He is back home now, because the court could not find him a group home fast enough and I feel depressed and irritable again. He is back to his old ways. He brings people to my house and drinks and smokes. He is under house arrest but I feel like it is me who is under house arrest. I hate to feel this way because he is my son but he is so selfish. He said to me the other day that I ruined his summer by leaving him in juvenile detention and that what kind of family member am I to send her own son to the detention center and leave him there. Well, as cold as that may sound, I would do it again. I love my son but I enjoy him alot more when he is away from my house. He can actually be quite delightful to talk to. When he is here, he is a tyrant and a lazy young man who is self centered and inconsiderate. I am sending him to a group home soon and he doesn't know about it yet but I don't think that I am helping him learn that life is not going to be forgiving and accomodating to him with his selfish ways. Does anyone have any advice or anything to share with me. I am desperate!"
I also have a 16 year old daughter that is out of control. She does not drink or do drugs but her mouth and her attitude really stinks. i had her in a dention center for 9 days and the very next day after she came home she started right back up again. She has punched me in the mouth, threatened me with a knife, threw things and put holes in my walls, i just never know when she is going to go off. I actually have to leave my home and go right around to stay away from her. We have given this girl everything imaginable right down to a new car. She is very defiant. Things are fine as long as she is doing what she wants to do. She stands up and calls me some of the dirtiest names going. I am considering a group home because I refuse to live my life this way any longer. I love my daughter but it is no longer fare to me to live like this everyday. You just wonder where the hell you went wrong!!!! All I did was love her and give her everything that she wanted but my friends tell me that is the problem that she is just a damn spoiled brat. Well I quess she will find out just how good she did have it at home because I am looking into a group home or a boot camp. Any suggestions will help and God only knows I need all the help I can get at this time in my life.
not aloneReply to this Comment
I'm going through the same thing. Best thing you can do for him and yourself is keep calling the law. Everytime he drinks or gets the least bit aggressive call them. The best advice i got was from a doctor as I had tried the medical route to get my son help. He told me to get every county and state agencies involved that I could. So when we went to court for my son's recent charges, the judge was able to see that i was trying to get him help. The county mental health department and Family Children Services all had files on him and the judge knew all of the names of the people at these agencies because they work closely together. I had been down at the Juvenile office trying to get help from them due to unruly child, there were many 911 calls made (at least two a week for the last month) and many doctors were involved with him. The judge could see that I was trying to help him, he was a danger, and so instead of letting him out they detained him until they could get him into a group home. Above all tell the Judge that you are in fear for your and his safety if he is in your home. If he is on house arrest and doing anything that is illegal then call his probation officer immediately and they will pick him up. Maybe we all made some mistakes in parenting such as spoiling them but they are now old enough to be responsible for their own actions. Best thing for him to learn is that he cannot do this to you - that if he drinks, does drugs or destroys your home you will act. You may not be able to physically fight him but you can get him out of the house. Be strong - its harder to live with than most people can understand but some of us here do understand what you are going through.
basabey wrote:
"I am the mother of a 15yr old boy who has given me more pain than happiness throughout the years. He is a teen now and is getting into gangs, smoking cigarrettes, marijuana, having sex and who know what else. I recently sent him to juvenile detention because he punched a hole in my wall and knocked down my bookshelve. I feel as if I am trapped in my own home. He is back home now, because the court could not find him a group home fast enough and I feel depressed and irritable again. He is back to his old ways. He brings people to my house and drinks and smokes. He is under house arrest but I feel like it is me who is under house arrest. I hate to feel this way because he is my son but he is so selfish. He said to me the other day that I ruined his summer by leaving him in juvenile detention and that what kind of family member am I to send her own son to the detention center and leave him there. Well, as cold as that may sound, I would do it again. I love my son but I enjoy him alot more when he is away from my house. He can actually be quite delightful to talk to. When he is here, he is a tyrant and a lazy young man who is self centered and inconsiderate. I am sending him to a group home soon and he doesn't know about it yet but I don't think that I am helping him learn that life is not going to be forgiving and accomodating to him with his selfish ways. Does anyone have any advice or anything to share with me. I am desperate!"
Hi
I feel sad to hear all this about your son. I think you should send him to some place where his mind can do some creative stuff. You can shift your place so that he can get away from his mates & make some good friends.
=======================
[url=http://www.fastrealestate.net]FSBO[/url]
basabey wrote:
"I am the mother of a 15yr old boy who has given me more pain than happiness throughout the years. He is a teen now and is getting into gangs, smoking cigarrettes, marijuana, having sex and who know what else. I recently sent him to juvenile detention because he punched a hole in my wall and knocked down my bookshelve. I feel as if I am trapped in my own home. He is back home now, because the court could not find him a group home fast enough and I feel depressed and irritable again. He is back to his old ways. He brings people to my house and drinks and smokes. He is under house arrest but I feel like it is me who is under house arrest. I hate to feel this way because he is my son but he is so selfish. He said to me the other day that I ruined his summer by leaving him in juvenile detention and that what kind of family member am I to send her own son to the detention center and leave him there. Well, as cold as that may sound, I would do it again. I love my son but I enjoy him alot more when he is away from my house. He can actually be quite delightful to talk to. When he is here, he is a tyrant and a lazy young man who is self centered and inconsiderate. I am sending him to a group home soon and he doesn't know about it yet but I don't think that I am helping him learn that life is not going to be forgiving and accomodating to him with his selfish ways. Does anyone have any advice or anything to share with me. I am desperate!"
I understand how you feel as far as the verbally abusive and destruction of your property. I have a 14 year old daughter who has been acting out towards me and other family members with verbal abuse and she has just recently physically assaulted me. I have tried therapy, talking to her, letting her stay with other family members and even trying to just act like she did not say anything which made her even more mad. The only time she is nice is long enough to get what she wants as far as money, clothes, going to a friends house. I will pray for you and hope that we both get help soon.
basabey wrote:
"I am the mother of a 15yr old boy who has given me more pain than happiness throughout the years. He is a teen now and is getting into gangs, smoking cigarrettes, marijuana, having sex and who know what else. I recently sent him to juvenile detention because he punched a hole in my wall and knocked down my bookshelve. I feel as if I am trapped in my own home. He is back home now, because the court could not find him a group home fast enough and I feel depressed and irritable again. He is back to his old ways. He brings people to my house and drinks and smokes. He is under house arrest but I feel like it is me who is under house arrest. I hate to feel this way because he is my son but he is so selfish. He said to me the other day that I ruined his summer by leaving him in juvenile detention and that what kind of family member am I to send her own son to the detention center and leave him there. Well, as cold as that may sound, I would do it again. I love my son but I enjoy him alot more when he is away from my house. He can actually be quite delightful to talk to. When he is here, he is a tyrant and a lazy young man who is self centered and inconsiderate. I am sending him to a group home soon and he doesn't know about it yet but I don't think that I am helping him learn that life is not going to be forgiving and accomodating to him with his selfish ways. Does anyone have any advice or anything to share with me. I am desperate!"
I understand how you feel as far as the verbally abusive and destruction of your property. I have a 14 year old daughter who has been acting out towards me and other family members with verbal abuse and she has just recently physically assaulted me. I have tried therapy, talking to her, letting her stay with other family members and even trying to just act like she did not say anything which made her even more mad. The only time she is nice is long enough to get what she wants as far as money, clothes, going to a friends house. I will pray for you and hope that we both get help soon.
Reader Comments 
By: basabey Posted: Jul 08 2007