Raising a teenager can be exhausting to say the least with times of fighting, yelling, and close to unbearable craziness taking over most of a parent’s time, and all of their energy. There comes a time when a teenager is untameable, and sometimes the only way to gain back your authority is implement tough love using behavior modification management. Behavior modification management is a big word with one simple meaning…teaching children to behave. With a teen, this is almost unfeasible giving most parents a feeling of helplessness with small hope of ever regaining the control needed to send their child down the right road. Before giving up, there are several ways of encouraging your teenager to want to behave using behavior modification management, the big kid way.
The best thing to do when teaching a teenager how to behave is send them back to square one, as if they were a child. The real problem in most homes dealing with the havoc caused by older children is that they believe you have lost your authority since they are “almost” adults. This means that you must remind them that they are children, and will go by your rules as long as they are living in your home.
Here are some ways to set them straight, and give them a reason to mind their manners.
- Take away everything! Yes, I mean everything! No TV in the room, no makeup for the young ladies, no XBOX for the young men, no more going out with friends, no staying up all night, take it all. The idea is to treat them as if they were 5, making them realize that you must EARN your right to be treated like an adult. If you are going to act up like a 5 year old, then you are going to live the life of a 5 year old.
- Set the rules, and KEEP them! Sit your teen down and fill them in on the situation. Tell them why you are doing this, and what you expect to see change. Go over the new rules, ignoring their snickers and dirty looks. Expect them to be VERY angry, and explain to them that you have been feeling the exact way they do for a while, as they ran around and completely put your authority aside. Remember, once these rules have been set you MUST follow through.
- Make a Deal! After things calm down from the meeting to set the rules, sit down to discuss how they can earn their privileges back. Don’t go easy on them. They need you to show them that you are serious about this. Take a piece of paper and write down what you expect to happen within the next 3 months. In this time, set when and how they can earn their things back. It is best to make them go without everything for at least 2 weeks.
- Begin your behavior modification management program and watch as results begin to show almost immediately. It is amazing how well behaved your children can be when they want something. Don’t go for it right away, they will start out perfect, but that is not your point. You want them to behave all the time so this will take a while to engrain in their mind. Just stick to it, and you will have your sweet child back in no time.
Is behavior modification management easy? Not at all! It is going to be a rough ride in the beginning with chances of behavior becoming worse before showing any signs of being better. What makes this plan so promising is that eventually your teen is going to want their things back, and the only way is to behave. Many parents have this technique of behavior modification management to thank for their now peaceful home.