If you have a child with attachment disorder you already know what hardship that can cause to your life, and even worse, to your child’s life. For those of you that don’t it is easier to explain attachment disorder as a child’s problem of managing his own emotions and connecting with other people. Children with attachment disorder almost always feel alone and unsafe, and all of that results in lack of selfworth and trust. Those children fear of getting close to anyone and most of them start feeling like they need to be in control and that is only because they are afraid.
So most of you are asking right now how does one develop attachment disorder, well the answer is simple but most parents don’t like to hear it. It comes from interaction of parent and child, while everything you do may seem ordinary it can turn out wrong, after all, every child is different. Most of the attachment disorders are a result of some negative experience in early stage of your relationship with your child.
The basic scenario is where the kids get left alone too often, abandoned, or isolated from others. They feel powerless and uncared for, that will lead to one conclusion on their side. They will remember for life that they can’t rely on others, they can’t depend on anyone else but themselves, the world is a scary place full of dangers.
Attachment disorder occurs when there is a constant troubled I communication between you and your child. Unfortunately, this happens for plenty of reasons and it can start when your child is a small baby, like when the baby cries for a long time without anyone responding. The same goes when the baby is wet or hungry for hours. A baby that isn’t spoken to, looked at and smiled at will also feel that and remember.
So soon your baby will start acting out and doing some extreme stuff to get your attention. Even worse may happen, the child can easily get confused because most people will sometimes meet the needs of a child and sometimes forget about them, that way the child will never know what to expect of his parents. The hardest cases are born in families where the parent is present, but absent with his mind. A parent that is unavailable because of his emotional problems, stress, depression, illness or in some cases substance abuse, will leave the child in a mess.
As you can already figure out from this, there are some situations when you simply can’t avoid some of these situations, but that is all the same to the child. The child will never know the reasons you couldn’t do something, nor will he ask or remember, the child will never understand, All that he is going to feel is that no one cares, the child will lose trust and the world will simply be an unsafe place for him. Attachment disorder can come to you as a surprise, because you thought you did everything right, so that is one of the greatest reasons to prepare extensively for a new baby and try not to make any of these mistakes.